Just got back from my mini visit to Chicago. I arrived Wednesday and it was surprisingly warm. Of course that all changed quickly and by the time I left on Friday is was freezing. Mom, Anya, her mom and I had dinner Wednesday night at a place called Beatrix. It’s a trendy new restaurant downtown which felt like any other trendy new restaurant. The food was good although I thought my chicken dish was very small. Our hipster waiter, donning a handlebar mustache and leather apron, talked about the menu as if describing an intricate plot twist in a Dostoyevsky novel. We discussed our upcoming milestone birthdays at the table (It just happened to be Anya’s mom’s birthday that night). Anya and I are both turning 30 next year and my mom is turning 60 the year after. Mom suggested we go to Dubai for her 60th. I put my foot down as I refuse to go to any country where drinking and having a vagina are illegal. The next suggestion was India and Anya and I quickly agreed to Goya but had no desire to venture into New Delhi. Anya’s mom had the desire to go to an Elephant sanctuary in Botswana but that was a little too adventurous for the rest of us. I don’t know how many glasses of wine it took but somehow we decided on Brazil for our group trip.
I spent Thursday morning with Dad and Faggypants. Faggypants gave me my Christmas presents: a Christmas tree pot holder and a chocolate orange. It was very quiet without Street Jimmy. Faggypants opened up his satchel to show me a bunch of random vegetables. I took a picture and showed him how to post to his Facebook, he was delighted.
Dad was right about the jewelry I was selling, it’s a total pyramid scheme. However, I’ve launched my stationery business which is pyramid scheme free. The Mongrel’s Menagerie is up and running however business isn’t exactly booming. Our Facebook page is getting lots of “likes” and the American Greyhound Rescue has given us some plugs since I am donating 50% of December’s profits to them. Did I start this expecting I was going rake in a bunch of fast cash: no, not at all. Why start a stationery business during the height of the technological age you ask? Because I love stationery. Plus, I’m having a lot of fun with the PR side of things. If any Genius followers feel like buying stationery from me click HERE.
Arthur is enjoying Cyber Monday savings at The Mongrel's Menagerie
When mom and I got back from dinner on Wednesday night Ruben was just getting wheeled into his PACE van. As I waved goodbye he called me over and said, “Just so you know, D Train is in there and he NEVER tips Rudy. Hopefully you will know how to handle this”. Upon entering the bar D Train looked up at me with a big smile. Before he could say anything I started ripping him a new asshole in front of everyone for not tipping Rudy. After about 15 minutes of abuse D Train mumbled something about Rudy leaves too quietly. I spent another 15 minutes yelling at him even more. Once things quieted down I worked D Train over trying to sell him stationery. I almost got him to commission new business cards but I ended up going home fairly early.
I hung out at the bar all afternoon on Thursday. Anya caught me up with everything that had been going on. Juke Box Joe still insists I didn’t write him a letter. Finally I got my mom to confirm that she remembers seeing a letter with “ATTN: Juke Box Joe” in the mail. It must have gotten lost somewhere in the middle. Daniella was shocked that I didn’t have Internet. He seemed to think that it just wasn’t available like Maryland was a third world country. When I explained the situation he vowed to write me more letters. Officer Rose asked me if I was going to go see the Blackhawks play in D.C. against the capitals in a couple weeks. I asked him how many times had I gone to see the Blackhawks when they were in my own back yard? My team support will remain in wearing my Blackhawks hat which everyone in Maryland mistakes for a Chiefs hat. After I’d been talking about something for awhile, Anya, stopped me mid sentence to inform me that I was doing something funny with my vowels. She then whipped up the following 30 Rock clip on Youtube for me. If I did get some kind of accent living in Maryland, it can’t be that bad because everyone at work still makes fun of my Chicago accent.
It was a short trip home and I know there's a bunch of people I didn't get a chance to catch up with. But I wanted to squeeze in a trip around the Holidays while I could get a couple days off. Hopefully I will be able to get more time off in January and February for a longer visit with Son In Law and the Mongrels.
Speaking of Son In Law, he has gotten a Stand Up Paddleboard sponsorship from K-Coast Surf Shop in Ocean City, MD. They gave him a top of the line race board as well as some cool gear. He will be one of their team riders for 2014. To cross train, Son In Law has gotten a different type of paddle board but instead of standing on it you lay down or kneel and use your arms as paddles. Here's a picture of him paddling on it this morning before our big snow storm.